Monday, June 23, 2008

Reasons for Divorce: Should I Deny Visitation to My Kids?

After a long divorce battle, you have finally won custody of your kids? However, as a father, you are faced with a major problem. Should you deny visitation rights to the mother of your kids? This is not because you don't want your kids to meet their mother but the fact that the mother has a history of problems, which have affected the kids.

An Abusive Mother

There are cases when the mother has been abusive to the kids and this could have taken the form of physical or mental abuse. In such cases, it makes sense to deny the mother visitation rights as any further contact with such a person, would only harm your kids in one form or the other. However, if you still want the kids to meet their mother you can make sure they that they do under due supervision by either yourself or some one else.

An Alcoholic Mother

As a husband, you know that your wife was an alcoholic. This might also be the reason why you sought divorce from her. Also, now you don't want your kids to associate themselves with a woman whose actions and life is dominated by the imbibing of alcohol. If such is the case, then you can, without any doubts whatsoever, deny the mother visitation rights. You can also take the help of the Courts to enforce this decision.

Drug Abusive Mother

You would want your kids to stay away from drugs. What about a mother who has history of drug abuse and who, you think, is still onto them? Definitely Not! You must think very carefully about whether you want to offer her visitation rights to see her kids. Moreover, you should make it a point that she can only see her children if she is clean with regards to the intake of drugs.

The Previous History

The previous history of the family life will also dictate whether you want to deny visitation rights to the mother of your kids. There are times when a mother does not really care about the children and their nurturing. If they are career oriented women, sometimes, they are only interested in their professional life and nothing else. At times, some women don't like the prospect of having kids, and feel like they are a burden. If you have noticed any of these things about your ex-wife and have recognized a kind of unfeeling or uncaring attitude towards your kids, then it makes no sense to give her visitation rights.

At the end of the day you can deny visitation rights but as a good father, you must take the wishes of your children into consideration. If they are old enough to understand that the parents won't be living together, then they should also be given some kind of say in the matter. If you don't allow their mother to visit them, you might come across as being insensitive in their eyes. Single fathers have to do a good bit of tight rope walking in this regard.

As a father, you must understand that it's no longer about the wife and you, but about your children and their relationship with their mother. Their wishes will have to be taken into account, even if you have no legal obligation to do so.

Dealing with the divorce is difficult but fortunately there is a great resource to help men cope with the divorce. Find it here.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Zac_Johnson

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